"Opportunity of a Lifetime"

I just sat through an opportunity of a lifetime "Internet marketing" seminar (read "scheme"). Every time I experience one of these, I am inspired to start my own "multi-level marketing system." I believe the blueprint for success is to invite "VIPs" (senior citizens, bored people, the unemployed, and those like myself with overzealous assistants), offer a free lunch at a local hotel, fill 90 minutes with a basic power point presentation and hundreds of cliches, and just watch the money roll in. It should appeal to anyone interested in get-rich-quick schemes. My favorite parts of the presentations:

• They say my name as many times as they can work it into the presentation.
• They "build value" with 3rd party endorsements and anecdotes.
• They tell me how much better their system is than actually working for a whole day as a doctor or lawyer (those poor suckers who actually have to work).

I often find myself looking for the flaws in the obviously memorized presentation (narcissistic micro manager that I am). This particular presenter said "No Worries" almost 500 times. There's nothing like a middle-age man with a Georgian accent using a phrase better suited for college students and the residents "down under." At one point I actually heard the phrases "don't put all your eggs in one basket," and "awesome."

To make the afternoon even better, the lady next to me kept attempting to interest me in her product, some sort of super food/oxidizer/healer of all illnesses concoction. Hey at least I got a free lunch, and a daily organizer as my parting gift. No worries.