Nice work Wallstreet...

So much for it won't get any worse. I am starting to believe in pessimism. When will the bailout(s) start working? Anyone? anyone at all? Am I talking to myself here? I heard something interesting today. 15% of Americans are blaming Obama for the economic state today, and 15% are blaming Bush. It seems that 30% will never be able to separate politics from reality. At least there are still 70% of us that are normal (either that or don't seem to care). How do I deal with reality? Well, today as I was driving in rush hour it was snowing; so I turned up some Bob Marley and pretended I was actually on a beach somewhere. Try it sometime, you won't be disappointed (and remember not to spill the rum punch on your shirt).

Death of a Dream? nice...

Would you have guessed this was an article about California? That may be one of the most depressing article titles I have read in some time. The interesting part is that the article, after all the doom and gloom at the beginning, actually ends with a message of hope. If you have the time, it is worth a read.

Here is the link:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/185791/page/1

Car Makers, Taxes, and I should be King...

Chrysler wants a piece of the bailout (who can blame them, I want a piece too), except they want to use their piece to pay some of their top execs $30 Million bonuses. Nice. I would just like to use my part of the bailout (which will never actually make it to me, the common man) to pay my mortgage, buy a flat screen (do they make them 120"?) and travel the world snowboarding; you know, just the every day necessities that we all require.

Starbucks' revenue is down, and you know the economy is suffering when people are refusing to purchase a $13 cup of coffee from a pumpkin-pie haircutted freak with every part of their face pierced who insists on giving you the evil eye because you drive an SUV. I am actively looking for ways to increase my carbon footprint now...

I have an idea for taxes. If you did not vote for the President that raises them, you should not be liable (o yeah, that's a law school word) for the increase(s). The qualifying factor: you have to vote, if you did not vote you don't get any of the (hypothetical) perks.

Next election, I am going to run for King/Supreme Dictator. Can I count on your vote? My campaign promise: no campaign promises.

Looking for a Laptop?

I have come to terms with the current economy, and even though we are not technically in a recession (2 consecutive quarters of negative growth), the media has frightened me to the point that I am going to back to school. I have decided that law school is the answer to all my problems and at the very least I will be able to defend my rights (even as they are steadily eroded) in society. For this venture, I need a laptop. Should you ever decide that pain is pleasure and identify yourself as a masochist (Masochists enjoy receiving pain), go laptop shopping.

Lesson 1: the expert helping you is going to be much younger than you, and will be subtly (or not so subtly) insulting you in tech-talk.

Lesson 2: It does not matter how much the computer costs, or what rebates are available, you are going to spend at least $1,100 (and even at that point they make you feel that you are selling yourself short).

Lesson 3: No matter what you use your PC for, you can be sure the expert you are talking to believes you will want the most amount of memory possible. After all, once the expert accounts for his porn, gaming and music, he wants to make sure there is enough memory left to type a paper. He will use words like, "multi-tasking," "multiple applications," and "boogers" (or was it cookies?), but be sure, he is talking about P,G & M.

In short, it's a miserable experience that takes entirely too long. Anyone who tells you they did it for less/had fun/found a great deal/etc is a liar. They are the same type of people who tell you they "broke even" in Vegas. Seriously, the Bellagio should be handing out business cards that say, "Thanks for breaking even."

At least now I have a laptop that will handle every conceivable multimedia function, hijack and drive war planes, sit in for me when I miss class, change diapers and drive me & the wife home after a night out. And I got the 4 year warranty.

How do you really know the economy is suffering?

I will tell you how you know. It's not the housing market, or the price of oil, or the rate of inflation, it's hookers. That's right, when business is suffering for those in the sex business, that's when you know the economy is suffering. Legal brothels in Las Vegas are down 40% this year. That is worse than the housing market in California (38%)!!! Apparently it can be traced back to oil. Due to higher gas prices, truckers have been unable to take advantage of the services offered by such establishments as the Shady Lady and the Bunny Ranch. According to interviews (not done by me), truckers were one of the top sources of revenue for these businesses. In order to lure business back (seriously, how hard can that be?), some of these brothels are offering $50 gas cards when a client spends $300 or more per month. This is starting to sound like an ad for a used car dealership.

On a related note, I wonder what the misery rating is currently. I believe it was highest under President Carter (Dem) with 20% interest rates, 12% unemployment and a high rate of inflation. Just something to ponder.

Markets are UP!!! Get a job.

I don't know where you are, but things are looking up in Central Ohio. Home prices are up $3,000 from this time last year, and there are fewer homes on the market than there were at this time last year. Of course if you watch the news, the housing market is completely dead and we should all go back to living in tepees. By the way, I was speaking with a former news reporter yesterday. He enlightened me with the information that fewer and fewer people are actually watching the news on TV. I can understand that, it's too depressing to watch. He also mentioned that in his broadcasting/communication classes, that the "weather is what sells the news." So now you know, that's how they suck us in, with the weather. I know I feel better. Back to my earlier point, things are looking up. The International Monetary Fund (IMF) revised its prediction for our national economy, from .5% to 1.1% for 2008 and from .6% to .8% (change in gross domestic product) for 2009. That's what I like to hear.

Are you a college graduate looking for a job? Now is a good time. According to CollegeGrad.com, hiring of college grads is up. 500 of the top entry-level (yes, even you have to start at the bottom) employers are reporting the need for 175,000 new employees (of which more than 10,000 openings are for 23 companies in Ohio). 62% of the surveyed companies are projecting to hire more grads than they did last year (20% - the same amount and 18% - fewer than 2007).

So go get a job and stop leaching off your parents.

Can you believe what you read?

Is the sky falling? Or am I just burying my head in the sand? I believe I am a glass-half-full type of person, but I am having a harder and harder time discerning the current state of affairs. The evening news is filled with crime, horror and is altogether depressing (at least I get updates on the weather every 4-6 minutes). So according to the "devil-box" in my living room, the end or the world is here. Contrary to that information is that of the Wall Street Journal. I recently perused an article with the title, "Life Is Good, So Why Do We Feel So Bad?" by Gregg Easterbrook. To summarize:

• Unemployment is low (5.5%).
• Income is rising ahead of inflation.
• Even with the current media-induced housing market, the average home is still worth 30% more than it was in 2000.
• Only 6% of Americans actually have "threatened" mortgages, and the majority of those will keep their homes.
• Inflation is getting a great deal of press for being on the rise, however the 16 years prior to 2008 were almost inflation-free!

I could go on, but you get the point. The real question is where do we go from here?

President/Congress/High End Cocktail

President Bush, how will he be remembered? Does it really matter? I enjoy the political banter as much as the next guy, but even I fear for our country's future. When will our candidates start discussing their policies instead of constantly condemning the current President? I consider myself somewhat normal, and here are the issues that matter to me (in no particular order):

• Economy


• Health Care


• War in Iraq/Security


• Gas Prices


• Big Government


• Taxes

There is so much white noise out there, neither McCain nor Obama seem to be solidifying a position on any of these. I keep hearing "change and hope" from both parties, and let's face it; my faith in our government leaders is wavering. For as much criticism as G.W. receives, his approval rating is more than twice that of Congress (which is controlled by which party?), 28% and 13% respectively. 13%!!! How many of us would keep our jobs with that? I would probably end up sleeping on a park bench under a newspaper. Is there a way we can fire them all and start over? I thought they worked for us...

http://www.pollingreport.com/BushJob.htm

http://www.pollingreport.com/CongJob.htm

After that, I do need a drink. Here is a high end cocktail to break out with your smoking jacket or tuxedo:

Twentieth Century

• 1 1/4 oz Gin


• 3/4 oz Lillet Blanc


• 3/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice


• 1/2 oz Cre'me de Cacao (clear)

Shake with ice & strain into a stemmed cocktail glass. Lemon Twist.