How was your Black Friday?

Mine went well. I slept in, had some McDonald's for breakfast and Starbucks, and finally made it to the mall. I found some great deals, and then when I asked for larger discounts the clerks gave it to me!! I love it! And I didn't even have to shoot anyone (like they did at the Toys R Us in Palm Desert, California), or run over and trample the store employees (thank you to the idiots in NYC). All in all, it's a good shopping day when you don't have to kill anyone. Way to get into the Xmas spirit. By the way, I hope you had a good Xgiving and Xoween. I can't wait for Xyear to get here, and then we have Xident's day and Martin X King Day and St. Xrick's Day. This may be my Xorite time of year.

So remember, next time you go out shopping for that $2 flat screen and tickle-me-elmo, try to not kill anyone (or X anyone).

Happy Thanksgiving, and go back to Russia.

There are Russian Destroyers off the coast of South America. I know that makes me more comfortable. Are they trying to play Reagan during the Cold War? First Georgia, and now the good ole U.S. of A. They always were an ambitious bunch, those crazy reds. They should go back to Russia and make good vodka and cool fur hats.

ABC TV - Definitely communist...

It's true, ABC has banned its employees from wearing American flag pins or other "paraphanilia" because they feel it makes appear biased. Strange, that we should actually appear to love our country. Clearly they are now a communist company and should be shot.

And yes, I did snope it...

Awesome.

Can we just start over?

Here is a question, if Congress passes the automaker bailout (against the wishes of the majority of people, just like the Wall Street bailout), can we vote to vacate their seats and put new people in there? Since we are now on this whole new change kick, let's get some new blood in the legislature. Worst case, if we have to wait (and why should we?), let's vote them all out in next election and start over with some new folks. At this point, I would like to nominate myself to represent Ohio in the Senate.

Is it a problem when the CEO of Ford has an annual salary of $28 million? Also, when the leaders of the big 3 went to Congress to beg for money yesterday, did anyone else here they all arrived on their private luxury jets? I mean, if you are going to beg for money, wouldn't it make more sense from a perception standpoint to show up on a Greyhound? Or at least fly commercial?

Bailouts, deficits and more...

So we have the big 3 where the average employee pay is $81/ hr (that's right, and these are not doctors we are talking about here) who want to take money from the average joe (or joe the plumber) who makes $15/hr. I love the mentality, "if something is not working, let's just throw more money at it instead of correcting the problem." How about throwing a cool million my way? I mean, in a 750 billion dollar slush fund, who is really going to notice? Who doesn't love pork right?

Another brilliant revelation by your president-elect. Obami says that we have to spend money to make money, and therefore we should expect the deficit to go up in the next few years, not down. Seriously, knowing that how about throwing an extra 500K on top of that million you are sending me.

Last but not least, I have learned that ODOT (Ohio Dept. of Transportation) is useless in Cleveland, of it might just actually be Cleveland that is useless. Apparently the bridges are falling down, and therefore they have closed 1/2 the lanes on the bridge (and this has been going on for almost 12 months) while they decide what should be done. Didn't Minnesota have this problem? I believe they had a new bridge built and ready to rock in less time. Nice.

Car Makers, Taxes, and I should be King...

Chrysler wants a piece of the bailout (who can blame them, I want a piece too), except they want to use their piece to pay some of their top execs $30 Million bonuses. Nice. I would just like to use my part of the bailout (which will never actually make it to me, the common man) to pay my mortgage, buy a flat screen (do they make them 120"?) and travel the world snowboarding; you know, just the every day necessities that we all require.

Starbucks' revenue is down, and you know the economy is suffering when people are refusing to purchase a $13 cup of coffee from a pumpkin-pie haircutted freak with every part of their face pierced who insists on giving you the evil eye because you drive an SUV. I am actively looking for ways to increase my carbon footprint now...

I have an idea for taxes. If you did not vote for the President that raises them, you should not be liable (o yeah, that's a law school word) for the increase(s). The qualifying factor: you have to vote, if you did not vote you don't get any of the (hypothetical) perks.

Next election, I am going to run for King/Supreme Dictator. Can I count on your vote? My campaign promise: no campaign promises.

Who doesn't love campaign promises?

So here is the list as promised by our President-elect:

• Clean Energy: $10 billion and 5 million new jobs to be created.


• No Child Left Behind Act (clearly a failed policy, and yes, you heard that from a conservative): he wants to broaden it.


• Education: Huge increase in funding to recruit, pay and retain the best teachers for our children.


• Immigration: He wants to strengthen our border control and crack down on illegal immigration ($$$).


• Tax Cuts for the Middle Class (hooray).


• Insurance Coverage for the 45 million uninsured Americans: He says they will have the same type of coverage as Congress has.

On top of that he has to save the economy and send me my second stimulus package money. All in day's work for America's messiah...

Not much today

So today I researched Federal statutes for 6 hours, I ate a sandwich, and then the day was over. My eyes hurt and it is snowing. Things are going well.

Congratulations America

Good job voters, now here is some advice:

If you have money, run, run far far away because the Gov't is coming to get it. Perhaps a better idea would be for you (by you, I mean the working public) would be to just publish your bank account numbers for the rest of us (by us, I mean the non-working public) to use. That way we don't have to wait for the taxes to trickle down to us. It's like we are cutting out the middle man.

Now, bring on the gravy...


I wonder how long until we start seeing the "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain stickers"...