Can I get a piece?

The word of the day is..... Bailout!!! Yehawwwww!!! There is nothing like giving money to companies that keep losing money and being on the hook to pay for it through my taxes. Now that has to make you feel good. Another 825 Billion? All I want is a small piece (like 4 or 5 mill), you know, get a little breathing room with the bills. Does my stimulus money come out of the bailout? I am currently ATTEMPTING to refinance, so we'll see how that goes. I mean, my bank only got who knows how much of that 350 Billion that has already gone out. With a credit score in the high 700s you would think it would happen but.... no one ever really knows.

You know what I love about America (besides cherry pie)? When we run out of money, we just print more.

So, like I said, Washington, can I get a piece?

Obama Needs Your Help!!!

O wait, isn't that why people voted for him? So he could help us? What happened to all the campaign promises about health care reform and new jobs? Now he is giving all of us the chance to be community organizers. Now that is exciting. Next stop, almost a whole term in the Senate and then the White House. Isn't that the new career path?

Another interesting note, a city in Ohio did not pass a tax increase and now they say there is no money to plow the roads this winter. Can I get in on that lawsuit?

Car Makers, Taxes, and I should be King...

Chrysler wants a piece of the bailout (who can blame them, I want a piece too), except they want to use their piece to pay some of their top execs $30 Million bonuses. Nice. I would just like to use my part of the bailout (which will never actually make it to me, the common man) to pay my mortgage, buy a flat screen (do they make them 120"?) and travel the world snowboarding; you know, just the every day necessities that we all require.

Starbucks' revenue is down, and you know the economy is suffering when people are refusing to purchase a $13 cup of coffee from a pumpkin-pie haircutted freak with every part of their face pierced who insists on giving you the evil eye because you drive an SUV. I am actively looking for ways to increase my carbon footprint now...

I have an idea for taxes. If you did not vote for the President that raises them, you should not be liable (o yeah, that's a law school word) for the increase(s). The qualifying factor: you have to vote, if you did not vote you don't get any of the (hypothetical) perks.

Next election, I am going to run for King/Supreme Dictator. Can I count on your vote? My campaign promise: no campaign promises.

Congratulations America

Good job voters, now here is some advice:

If you have money, run, run far far away because the Gov't is coming to get it. Perhaps a better idea would be for you (by you, I mean the working public) would be to just publish your bank account numbers for the rest of us (by us, I mean the non-working public) to use. That way we don't have to wait for the taxes to trickle down to us. It's like we are cutting out the middle man.

Now, bring on the gravy...


I wonder how long until we start seeing the "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain stickers"...

Voting for Obama? Thanks

I just wanted to say thank you to those of you voting Obama in '08. As a nonworking, poor student with a family who does not pay taxes, I appreciate all of your support. I am excited that all of you small business owners and wealthy people are going to pay for my health care, food stamps, and lifestyle. I will let you know if I need anything else. Perhaps there is a way I can work this into a boat?

The good news is that by the time I am in the wealthy crowd, a new President with a tax plan that benefits me will be in office. I love our electoral system (even though I am against voting).

President/Congress/High End Cocktail

President Bush, how will he be remembered? Does it really matter? I enjoy the political banter as much as the next guy, but even I fear for our country's future. When will our candidates start discussing their policies instead of constantly condemning the current President? I consider myself somewhat normal, and here are the issues that matter to me (in no particular order):

• Economy


• Health Care


• War in Iraq/Security


• Gas Prices


• Big Government


• Taxes

There is so much white noise out there, neither McCain nor Obama seem to be solidifying a position on any of these. I keep hearing "change and hope" from both parties, and let's face it; my faith in our government leaders is wavering. For as much criticism as G.W. receives, his approval rating is more than twice that of Congress (which is controlled by which party?), 28% and 13% respectively. 13%!!! How many of us would keep our jobs with that? I would probably end up sleeping on a park bench under a newspaper. Is there a way we can fire them all and start over? I thought they worked for us...

http://www.pollingreport.com/BushJob.htm

http://www.pollingreport.com/CongJob.htm

After that, I do need a drink. Here is a high end cocktail to break out with your smoking jacket or tuxedo:

Twentieth Century

• 1 1/4 oz Gin


• 3/4 oz Lillet Blanc


• 3/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice


• 1/2 oz Cre'me de Cacao (clear)

Shake with ice & strain into a stemmed cocktail glass. Lemon Twist.