I want to be fatter...

I think we should go back to the days of yore when being fat meant you were successful and powerful. Perhaps I could be king? or at least some sort of royalty. What can I say, I like to eat and I hate to exercise. If I were king, exercising would be illegal (but not the type of illegal where you still get benefits and stuff, I mean like really illegal). I believe the world would be a better place and much more peaceful. Have you ever noticed fat people are more fun (jolly, if you will)? They generally aren't as retentive as those skinny folks and let's face it, sweat pants are amazing. So I say, let's eat, drink, eat some more and be merry (unless becoming mary requires surgery).

Here's to the supersizers and mighty kids' meals...

Have you ever noticed?

That fat people are constantly saying they need to work out? Yet they always choose the elevator over the stairs and fast food for meals? Whoever came up with the "mighty meal" should be held personally responsible for all the obese children. O wait, wouldn't that be the parent's fault? Here's a thought, set a healthy example for your kids and learn to say "no". Something tells me if we can get a hold on that concept, we can do more to lower health care costs than our elected officials will.

Hit the stairs, and good luck.

Exercise, Getting Fatter, How Did This Happen?

It is now clear that my body hates me. I used to be an athlete, now I get winded just thinking about sports. I am able to watch a complete NBA game (with a little HGH and Red Bull), and that is something to be proud of. I have started exercising 20 times in the past 5 years. Maybe I am struggling with commitment (No, it would have to be sweating that I struggle with). I play basketball once per week in a "lightly-competitive" league, and it takes the remaining 6 days of the week for my bones to knit and my muscles to start responding (just in time for the next round of hoops). How does this happen? Here is another interesting development: No matter how many times I start exercising, my weight only goes up. I keep telling myself that "muscle weighs more than fat," and when I said it out loud the other day, the scale started laughing at me. The afore mentioned scale is now in pieces in my driveway. Who's laughing now?