Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?

Here's what I love, shopping online!!! Tell me that isn't a home run and I'll show you a liar. For fun, I have been going to the mall and standing in random lines. I have attempted to speak with my fellow patrons in order to spread some Christmas cheer, but no one seems to be in the mood (except for a few folks who felt a proper lunch consisted only of martinis). Where is the love?

How many of you have already spent your second stimulus package money? Your tax return? I say spend it all. Saving money is overrated. Get out there and stimulate the economy with your hard earned credit cards.

I for one am big on tradition. We had the picture done with Santa, the tree was cut down (sorry Earth) and decorated, we'll watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and eat appetizers (sorry waistline) and read the Christmas story on Christmas Eve. And then watch the wonderful chaos that is Christmas morning unfold (after reading about the birth of Christ). So Merry Christmas to you and yours.

support the troops and get rid of the ACLU

For all of you Christian haters who believe prayer is some form of civil rights violation, try not to run to the ACLU to sue these guys. Civil liberties my a**.

One More Final and General Updates You All Want

One more final (this qualifies as a study break). Only 17 more pages to memorize, learn how to apply and pray I get a familiar fact pattern. Awesome, bring it on.

Hopefully you all have your Christmas shopping done (are we allowed to say Christmas, or will the ACLU be bringing suit?), and if not, just throw a shoe at it. That seems to be how the rest of the world shows their feelings. Speaking of feelings, no more mass email Christmas cards (whoops, said the whole C word again). Nothing says "I don't care about you enough to send you a real card, so here is a mass email one" like... you guessed it, a mass email. Personally, I prefer to use the old standby, "sorry I didn't send you a card, I didn't have time." I can't wait to start getting the mass Merry Christmas text messages (you know who you are).

Here's something fun, word on the street is Obami wants to turn the inauguration into a Gay pride parade. Nice work, voters. Congratulations on your tolerance and diversity. Super job. Now the world will not only hate us (like they already do), but they will think we are just a bunch of flamers. Awesome. Did I hear that Sean John is a sponsor as well? Talk about a putting the right foot forward.

Finals

Final Exams are here, no more classes and only 175 pages of information to memorize and apply to vague fact patterns. Awesome.

See you in 2 weeks.

Obama Needs Your Help!!!

O wait, isn't that why people voted for him? So he could help us? What happened to all the campaign promises about health care reform and new jobs? Now he is giving all of us the chance to be community organizers. Now that is exciting. Next stop, almost a whole term in the Senate and then the White House. Isn't that the new career path?

Another interesting note, a city in Ohio did not pass a tax increase and now they say there is no money to plow the roads this winter. Can I get in on that lawsuit?

How was your Black Friday?

Mine went well. I slept in, had some McDonald's for breakfast and Starbucks, and finally made it to the mall. I found some great deals, and then when I asked for larger discounts the clerks gave it to me!! I love it! And I didn't even have to shoot anyone (like they did at the Toys R Us in Palm Desert, California), or run over and trample the store employees (thank you to the idiots in NYC). All in all, it's a good shopping day when you don't have to kill anyone. Way to get into the Xmas spirit. By the way, I hope you had a good Xgiving and Xoween. I can't wait for Xyear to get here, and then we have Xident's day and Martin X King Day and St. Xrick's Day. This may be my Xorite time of year.

So remember, next time you go out shopping for that $2 flat screen and tickle-me-elmo, try to not kill anyone (or X anyone).

Happy Thanksgiving, and go back to Russia.

There are Russian Destroyers off the coast of South America. I know that makes me more comfortable. Are they trying to play Reagan during the Cold War? First Georgia, and now the good ole U.S. of A. They always were an ambitious bunch, those crazy reds. They should go back to Russia and make good vodka and cool fur hats.

ABC TV - Definitely communist...

It's true, ABC has banned its employees from wearing American flag pins or other "paraphanilia" because they feel it makes appear biased. Strange, that we should actually appear to love our country. Clearly they are now a communist company and should be shot.

And yes, I did snope it...

Awesome.

Can we just start over?

Here is a question, if Congress passes the automaker bailout (against the wishes of the majority of people, just like the Wall Street bailout), can we vote to vacate their seats and put new people in there? Since we are now on this whole new change kick, let's get some new blood in the legislature. Worst case, if we have to wait (and why should we?), let's vote them all out in next election and start over with some new folks. At this point, I would like to nominate myself to represent Ohio in the Senate.

Is it a problem when the CEO of Ford has an annual salary of $28 million? Also, when the leaders of the big 3 went to Congress to beg for money yesterday, did anyone else here they all arrived on their private luxury jets? I mean, if you are going to beg for money, wouldn't it make more sense from a perception standpoint to show up on a Greyhound? Or at least fly commercial?

Bailouts, deficits and more...

So we have the big 3 where the average employee pay is $81/ hr (that's right, and these are not doctors we are talking about here) who want to take money from the average joe (or joe the plumber) who makes $15/hr. I love the mentality, "if something is not working, let's just throw more money at it instead of correcting the problem." How about throwing a cool million my way? I mean, in a 750 billion dollar slush fund, who is really going to notice? Who doesn't love pork right?

Another brilliant revelation by your president-elect. Obami says that we have to spend money to make money, and therefore we should expect the deficit to go up in the next few years, not down. Seriously, knowing that how about throwing an extra 500K on top of that million you are sending me.

Last but not least, I have learned that ODOT (Ohio Dept. of Transportation) is useless in Cleveland, of it might just actually be Cleveland that is useless. Apparently the bridges are falling down, and therefore they have closed 1/2 the lanes on the bridge (and this has been going on for almost 12 months) while they decide what should be done. Didn't Minnesota have this problem? I believe they had a new bridge built and ready to rock in less time. Nice.

Car Makers, Taxes, and I should be King...

Chrysler wants a piece of the bailout (who can blame them, I want a piece too), except they want to use their piece to pay some of their top execs $30 Million bonuses. Nice. I would just like to use my part of the bailout (which will never actually make it to me, the common man) to pay my mortgage, buy a flat screen (do they make them 120"?) and travel the world snowboarding; you know, just the every day necessities that we all require.

Starbucks' revenue is down, and you know the economy is suffering when people are refusing to purchase a $13 cup of coffee from a pumpkin-pie haircutted freak with every part of their face pierced who insists on giving you the evil eye because you drive an SUV. I am actively looking for ways to increase my carbon footprint now...

I have an idea for taxes. If you did not vote for the President that raises them, you should not be liable (o yeah, that's a law school word) for the increase(s). The qualifying factor: you have to vote, if you did not vote you don't get any of the (hypothetical) perks.

Next election, I am going to run for King/Supreme Dictator. Can I count on your vote? My campaign promise: no campaign promises.

Who doesn't love campaign promises?

So here is the list as promised by our President-elect:

• Clean Energy: $10 billion and 5 million new jobs to be created.


• No Child Left Behind Act (clearly a failed policy, and yes, you heard that from a conservative): he wants to broaden it.


• Education: Huge increase in funding to recruit, pay and retain the best teachers for our children.


• Immigration: He wants to strengthen our border control and crack down on illegal immigration ($$$).


• Tax Cuts for the Middle Class (hooray).


• Insurance Coverage for the 45 million uninsured Americans: He says they will have the same type of coverage as Congress has.

On top of that he has to save the economy and send me my second stimulus package money. All in day's work for America's messiah...

Not much today

So today I researched Federal statutes for 6 hours, I ate a sandwich, and then the day was over. My eyes hurt and it is snowing. Things are going well.

Congratulations America

Good job voters, now here is some advice:

If you have money, run, run far far away because the Gov't is coming to get it. Perhaps a better idea would be for you (by you, I mean the working public) would be to just publish your bank account numbers for the rest of us (by us, I mean the non-working public) to use. That way we don't have to wait for the taxes to trickle down to us. It's like we are cutting out the middle man.

Now, bring on the gravy...


I wonder how long until we start seeing the "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain stickers"...

Vote For McCain

Captain Complete says Vote for McCain!!! Captain complete also wants you to know, due to overcrowding at the polls, voters are being asked to vote on different days. If you are voting Republican, please vote on Nov. 4th. If you are voting Democrat, please vote on Nov. 5th. If you do not follow these stipulations, Captain Complete will dump Gatorade on your head.

Working Towards the American Dream

Now this is the type of ingenuity we Americans are famous for.

Go USA...

You might be a...

You might be delusional if...

You believe that illegal immigrants are not a problem.
Facts:

• 95% of all murder warrants in L.A. are for undocumented aliens.
  83% of all murder warrants in Phoenix are for undocumented aliens.
  86% of all murder warrants in Albuquerque (who really knows how to spell that?) are for u.a.
  Approx. 70% of the FBI's most wanted list? you guessed it, undocumented aliens.

You believe gay marriage should be legalized (or you may just be gay and delusional).

Facts:

• God does not recognize gay marriage.
  The South does not recognize gay marriage.
  California does recognize gay marriage, and let's face it, that is a state that can't get anything right.

You believe the president of Iran is generally a good guy.

Facts:

• China and Russia are loving the fact that the U.S. worries more about offending other countries rather than self sufficiency. Though we don't get any of our oil from Iran, we (the common people) know that guy is nuts, and we know that Iran, China and Russia effectively make up the "Axis of Evil."
  

So if you believe your voting booth is hooked up on Nov. 4, vote accordingly and don't forget to punch the chad all the way through (unless you are voting for Hussein).

Mid Terms

Mid Terms this week, no time for this, talk amongst yourselves.

Voting for Obama? Thanks

I just wanted to say thank you to those of you voting Obama in '08. As a nonworking, poor student with a family who does not pay taxes, I appreciate all of your support. I am excited that all of you small business owners and wealthy people are going to pay for my health care, food stamps, and lifestyle. I will let you know if I need anything else. Perhaps there is a way I can work this into a boat?

The good news is that by the time I am in the wealthy crowd, a new President with a tax plan that benefits me will be in office. I love our electoral system (even though I am against voting).

Best advice I can give, don't vote.

That's right, I said don't vote. You and I both know that those voting machines are not hooked up to anything. They (the big bad government) are just messing with us. Maybe they decided we could not handle (or just did not want) the responsibility. Most people don't vote anyway. I would like to think that American Idol and Dancing with the Stars are proof that we want the privilege back. We just want to be able to text our vote in (limit 10 votes per phone, standard text message rates apply). Or maybe our next Presidential election could be like Survivor. 10 candidates have to survive on a Middle Class income, work at an actual job and vote each other off after various challenges including juggling children, work and relationships (not really throwing children in the air, but balancing the actual responsibility without a maid and a nanny). Oh, and they all have to drive minivans during the challenge. I know I would enjoy that more than the current process... and remember, don't vote because it doesn't matter.

Nebraska - not brilliant... and another useless debate.

No, I am not watching another useless debate. Watching tweedledee and tweedledum suck up to the middle class with empty promises and plans that cannot in a million years be funded while "slap fighting" with each other just makes me embarrassed by our electoral process. I find it humorous the passion that seems to be everywhere in this election when the facts indicate that the majority of us don't even vote. I will be glad when this is over and nothing changes. At least at that point the commercials will go back to normal and I won't have to watch neighbors wage their passive aggressive lawn sign wars with each other. It's like if you have the most signs in your lawn then you are the cool one. The truth is the old lawn flamingos are cooler than the election signs. Go get lawn flamingos, go now. And get a lawn gnome. There is my travelocity plug.

Now on to Nebraska. State Senator Ernie Chambers brought a lawsuit against God. That's right, The Almighty. Unfortunately for him (and fortunately for everyone who is sane) the court dismissed the case because God does not have an address and therefore he cannot be served. Chambers has been part of the Nebraska legislature for the last 38 years and is not going for election. This guy is clearly an idiot. Perhaps he was not hugged enough as a child (or maybe hugged too much?), who knows. What does this say about the people of Nebraska? They elected him for 38 years. That goes past ignorance, that is just plain stupid. Way to go over there.

An amazing video and song that I believe accurately encompasses the entire campaign process (no matter which side you vote for). Enjoy.

http://www.peteyandpetunia.com/VoteHere/VoteHere.htm


It makes one ponder, would the millions (and millions and millions) of dollars being spent on campaigns be better served in bailing out Main Street? or at least in serving the needs of the less fortunate?

Personally, I am in favor of a plan where the government "renegotiates" with the banks in lowering mortgages to be consistent with the value of the house. Yes, I am obviously a homeowner and statistics (83% of which are made up) show that 1 in 6 homes are worth less than the amount owed. I wonder if that takes into account the amazing amount of home equity loans that were taken and used for new cars and trips to Disney. Always good to be reassured by the fiscal responsibility of Americans (the government and public alike).

Pacman...

So Pacman is in trouble again? Is anyone really surprised? He got into a fight with his bodyguard, who was hired to... keep Pacman out ... of... fights? How many more chances will this guy get? I'll tell you, as many chances as it takes until he is no longer useful to any NFL team. Personally, I think he is a thug who continuously fails to exercise self control (it couldn't be the steroids could it? No those are only in baseball) and society would be better served if he was playing on the same prison team as Michael Vick. A regular dream team.

On a separate note, has anyone really been effected by the stock market crash? I know rich people have (but as I am not one of those, I have not felt the pain), but as long as gas prices keep dropping I am not complaining. Ahh, to be young and naive.

If I had a dollar....

Ok, maybe more than a dollar, if I had $4 I would buy the entire stock market, all of it, right now.

Did anyone hear rover's morning glory today? They were discussing the Obama campaign's push to register homeless people, college students and felons.

Query, why would he want to cater to those demographics? All 3 groups are usually drunk out of their minds on Mad Dog 20/20, the Beast or wine made from a toilet.

Not a good sign.

How about the big 12? Where is that SEC speed again? Would everyone agree that Bobby Bowden's entire team is made up of criminals? Reminds me of the Miami Hurricanes of the 80's (except UM won).

I want to be fatter...

I think we should go back to the days of yore when being fat meant you were successful and powerful. Perhaps I could be king? or at least some sort of royalty. What can I say, I like to eat and I hate to exercise. If I were king, exercising would be illegal (but not the type of illegal where you still get benefits and stuff, I mean like really illegal). I believe the world would be a better place and much more peaceful. Have you ever noticed fat people are more fun (jolly, if you will)? They generally aren't as retentive as those skinny folks and let's face it, sweat pants are amazing. So I say, let's eat, drink, eat some more and be merry (unless becoming mary requires surgery).

Here's to the supersizers and mighty kids' meals...

No Bail Out for Sucking at Your Job

Another shocker, our legislature has decided not to reward poor business practice by throwing more money at it (it's kind of like hiring an ugly stripper). I don't know how I feel about it (the non-bailout, not the ugly stripper), and I know it's going to make life harder on those of us banking on the stock market and loans to get by. I am strongly considering voting for Obama in hopes that he will socialize the system and I can suck up the gravy. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Bail Out, is that for everyone?

I guess I understand bailing out the banks. I mean if these institutions go down, that is a lot of jobs that will be lost, not too mention the FDIC doesn't have the funds to insure them all. So that would be a great deal of money lost by the consumers and the unemployment rate would continue to rise. So it does make sense. But here's what doesn't. Executives at failing companies walking away with millions of dollars in compensation. I was under the impression that if you fail, you don't get bonus money. You could argue that you should at least get severance pay, but 160 million? I am as capitalistic as the next guy but that seems a bit extreme (unless I am that executive, then I fully support the current system). It is a bit overwhelming to think about, as the cost is ultimately passed to the consumer (read you & me). Good to know my 28% is going to the right places.

On the bright side, I did get to miss the debate (instead of Friends, I watched 2 hours of 70's show reruns) and the Buckeyes won their Big Ten opener. Also USC lost, Georgia got killed and I still believe the SEC is a joke. They will get killed if the bowl games were up north.

To Bank, Or Not To Bank

WaMu, what more can I say? Apparently another victim of a "run on a bank syndrome." Does that mean all that money ($16.7 Billion drawn out in 12 days) is now under the mattresses of all those people?

I am not watching the candidate debate tonight. Let's face it, these guys don't have a clue or a plan to save the country. In either case we are in for 4 more years of the same. Sure, there is weight to the fact that several new justices will be nominated by the President, but how much does that really matter?

An interesting perspective from an international friend: He thought it humorous that we put so much stock into our elections. His view is that in America, not much changes when a new leader is elected. In his country, when a new leader is elected, people die. Something to think about.


Enjoy the debate (if you can call it that), I am going to watch Friends reruns.

I ponder...

So they may not let people live in Galveston anymore. How do you feel about that? Are we one more large hurricane from shutting down New Orleans as well? Isn't there a certain kind of risk that one takes when living below sea level near the ... sea? How about those 2,000 individuals who ignored evacuation orders when Ike was on the way and then had to be rescued? I am sure we all know Darwin's opinion of that. Is it the right opinion? I don't know. I am all for moving Mardi Gras to a higher elevation, I don't care for the water anyway. I prefer to watch it from a sandy shoreline while a smiling server brings me frozen umbrella drinks, though I am partial to Red Stripe.

Here's to the top shelf...

Conspiracy Theory

I have figured it out!!! Washington and the media have conspired against us, the common people. They have used the party lines to turn us against each other. How many times have you heard "I am not satisfied by either candidate."? Yet, we (Republicans, Democrats) are unable to unite to change our environment. Instead we spend our time personally attacking each other and our respective candidates. Our elected officials and media (both sides) continue to fuel this behavior because they know that is the way for them to stay in power, and keep making money at the tax payer's expense. Why do you think we are only seeing negative ads instead of policy debates? Unless we can get over the grade school like mentality we currently exhibit, things are never going to change.


I need more coffee, or more sleep.

Want to make more money? Keep your wife at home...

Now that is an attention grabber! Studies show that men who have wives that stay at home make 20% to 50% MORE than those men who have wives that work. That is amazing. I know when we were throwing around numbers and deciding on whether or not to send my wife back to work after the baby was born, after child care, taxes, gas etc, she was making around $2/hour. Nice.

Subsequently we decided it would be best for her to stay home and enjoy raising the baby, and after seeing how much fun she was having, I retired. Not a bad way to :)

Here is a link for the book that references the study mentioned above.

http://www.amazon.com/Beside-Every-Successful-Man-Womans/dp/0307393631

Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide to Having It All. by Megan Bashum.

So the next question is.... What if you are a gay couple? Who gets to stay home?

Today

So today I rode the elevators every time instead of using the stairs. I already feel fatter. Awesome...




(If you don't get it, read the previous entry)

Have you ever noticed?

That fat people are constantly saying they need to work out? Yet they always choose the elevator over the stairs and fast food for meals? Whoever came up with the "mighty meal" should be held personally responsible for all the obese children. O wait, wouldn't that be the parent's fault? Here's a thought, set a healthy example for your kids and learn to say "no". Something tells me if we can get a hold on that concept, we can do more to lower health care costs than our elected officials will.

Hit the stairs, and good luck.

I got this from a friend and I believe it to be entirely relevant:

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this: 'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first .. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Go Bucks

A weekend off?

Somehow I ended up ahead in regard to studying, and now I get the weekend off. How great is that? Now I get to head to the Troyer's annual corn roast (always a great time), watch the Buckeyes and hang out in sweatpants all weekend. Well, let's face it, Sunday will be the day to work on my "honey-do" list. It is, at least, finally getting shorter. Who is enjoying the conventions (Republican/Democrat)? I have not watched much of either, I mean, who needs a week-long informercial from either party? It's going to get ugly in the upcoming months, and my goal is to avoid discussing politics/religion/weight-loss with friends and family. It always ends up as a fight, or them giving me lame diet tips (I need my carbs, people!).
So, does anyone need a place to live? I have a house for sale (big house), or rent on the east of Columbus. Let me know.

Have a good one, and go Bucks.

Do you have a pet?

Well, do you? I know a guy that owns an apartment building and refers to his tenants as pets. How awesome is that? Did you know a pet can improve your health? The CDC says a pet can lower your blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides. Also, if you are lonely, anti-social and do not exercise, there is a chance that a pet can change these characteristics about you. Personally, I don't have a pet, and I don't want one. My money says if you just took care of your body and got your fat butt up off the couch and put half the energy it takes to take care of a pet into your own lifestyle, you wouldn't have any of these problems.

Your welcome.

Palin for VP, I like it

It's a battle of the minorities, you gotta luv it. So if you are a Democratic woman (or Black Republican), who do you vote for? Everyone seems caught up in making history, but what is really best for the country? I happen to have a soft spot for children with disabilities from my days helping out in a school for children with disabilities, and Palin has a son with Down Syndrome. So as long as everyone is throwing their votes to the wind in the name of history, that is where I am throwing mine. McCain may be a bit liberal for my taste, but Palin is a mom, and everyone listens to mom. And hey, she's pro-life and that happens to agree with my Bible.

In case you didn't know, that is here now, and back in the 80's as a sportscaster. A sportscaster!!! I am telling you this woman is perfect for the White House.

Can One Read Too Much?

It has been a busy week, but things are progressing. My outlines for Property, Torts, Contracts and Civil Procedures are up to date. I have heard, " don't start your outlines yet because you will end up throwing them away and starting over in 4 weeks," but I figure at the very least it gives me practice and it breaks up the reading. My reading is somewhat caught up (if that can ever be true), I only have 8 more chapters to read for Legal Writing and then I will start reading for next week's classes. Is it bad that I have started reading Grisham's The Firm again?

I'm lovin it...

So yes, this is challenging, but I am relishing in the reading, research and writing. It could be the novelty (we'll have to compare this entry with those in the upcoming months), it could be the lack of sleep; we may never know. The fact is, I am enjoying myself. Breaking down cases, figuring out the rules and playing the ever-popular devil's advocate - right down my alley. This was a great move, and I am excited to see where it goes from here.

In case you are wondering, yes, I am in the library and I just finished reading for Contracts. Now it is back to the books to start work on another outline. Should I work on Torts or Civil Procedure?

Day 2 of Official Classes

wow. I am going to need to spend more time reading. For those of you that call yourselves my friends, I apologize. I promise we can hang out again in 2011. Also, you may have noticed a shift away from my usual political and social rants. That is because I have moved into the library and no longer am concerned about the world outside these walls. Let's face it, unless you are rich it doesn't really matter what you think when it comes to our country's policy (all you protesters out there, just keep on thinking you are making a difference). I did see a quick note regarding Obama's running mate, and I must express some disappointment. I doubt the man from Virginia is really about change (he is from the "Washington is broken" club, isn't he?). I was kinda of hoping Obama would keep it real and pick Jesse or Al. O well, back to my book on torts.

The World Is Ending!!! So where should I invest?

I read a terrifying article today (why do I do that?) from Jon Markman at MSN. I have included a live link if you would like to see the article. Unless you live underground, you know what's been going on in the U.S. markets and there has been a large amount of investors taking their capital overseas. Well, according to Jon, the run on the world market is over, and the U.S. is again the place to put your money. Let's face it, if Warren Buffet is no longer betting against the dollar, why should you? Here is a quick summary of the world markets:

• U.S. down 15% for the year
• Britain down 22%
• France down 22%
• Germany down 24%
• Spain down 23%
• Russia down 23% (not to mention they are always invading someone)
• China down 31% (How about those Asian markets?)
• Japan down 16%
• India down 43%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• The Latin American countries are hurting as well, but I am tired of typing in numbers.

Seriously though, where do we put our money (since I don't have any, this does not really effect me, so where do you put your money?)? Do you just leave the market alone for awhile and put your money in a bank account earning between 1% and 4%? How about this: "Chris Whalen, the managing director of Institutional Risk Analytics, has told Dow Jones Newswires that he expects 110 banks with $850 billion in assets to fail by next July, which is eight times the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.'s reserves." (Markman, MSN) So there goes your insurance when your bank closes down.

Maybe I will just start mining for gold. Where is my pick-axe and dynamite?

Orientation is Over, Now the real work begins

So orientation is over, and it has been an experience. Every day I come home with a headache. My brain is clearly not use to the work. This week I read 100 pages and briefed 5 cases, and class does not start until Monday. I love Orientation. Gone are the days of undergrad and team building at Camp Gideon. Now it's all about Legal Writing, appellate arguments and financial aid seminars. It's always fun meeting new people (including this guy, http://www.paralegalsblog.com/2008/08/paralegal-sets-sights-on-rising-lawyer.html ), and I am going to experiment with the study group idea and see what happens. My favorite part about law school so far is the automatic doors. They are not the kind you see at the grocery store, they open from farther away and make you feel important. All in all, a good week.

First Class

Well, I just completed my first class at law school, and I am still breathing (a good sign). It was a Legal Writing class and it looks like my hand may fall off. My pre-class assignment was the first 2 chapters from (one of) the book(s) and reading 4 additional cases. That resulted in 9+ pages of notes, a migraine and a carpal cramp. All in all, a good afternoon at the library. Now all I have to do is re-read the 2 chapters (want to make sure I understand all the gibberish), complete the exercises from the book and brief the 4 cases. Did I mention this is just orientation week? Yeah for law school.

Go America

So how about the Olympics? I have been one to watch the occasional event in the past (Carrie's ankle included), but I usually find something else to do with my time. This year, I can't turn my eyes away from the TV. The Redeem Team (basketball), Volleyball (indoor and out), gymnastics (there, I said it) and that freak they call Phelps (I mean that in the most respectful way, he is an amazing athlete). I am excited to tell my grandchildren about the man who won all those gold medals way back when. I wonder if they will even have the Olympics at that point, or if my grandchildren will look at me and wonder why I'm not in a strait jacket (Who knows? Maybe I will be). I found myself yelling with unbridled enthusiasm as the American relay team out swam those bastards from across the pond. There's something to be said for antagonizing the Americans (Russia, are you listening?). It has been fun to be patriotic these past few days, and I wonder how the rest of America feels. Are the games uniting us or are there those of you that hate it here (yes, you live here and you know who you are) so much, that you would rather burn the flag instead of fly it? O well, I guess that's your right.

I choose to believe in the unifying spirit of the games, and look toward a brighter tomorrow (would that be from global warming?).

Go America.

I'm Back

Sorry, it's been awhile. I was in Mexifornia for a couple of weeks, and I also moved to Cleveland. Mexifornia is an amazing state. First of all, if you remember a few weeks ago an illegal immigrant shot and killed a father and 2 sons in San Francisco. The reason is unclear, one thought was road rage, another was mistaken identity (the assailant thought they were rival gang members). One thing is clear, this killing could have been avoided if it were not for the sanctuary laws of San Fran. This guy had been in jail previously on felony charges, but local law enforcement is prohibited from cooperating with federal law enforcement. What is so wrong with deportation? Shouldn't these illegals have to go through the process like everyone else (including my great grandparents)? I have family in the California Highway Patrol, and they are discouraged from reporting illegals. Amazing. And to think, these immigrants get better health care than the poor Americans.

I had an exciting time in Mexifornia, so to recap:
I was bitten by fire ants in the desert, I went black widow spider hunting (I swear, one of these spiders had a face, and gave me the finger before my brother-in-law killed it with a blow torch), and survived an earthquake. I did enjoy a nice round of golf, and some of the best Mexican food ever (breakfast burritos from Del Taco).

Good Times.

Does this make me a racist? or a realist?

'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact, you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.. $500 sneakers for what??

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward:

Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from?

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'

Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

Looking for a Laptop?

I have come to terms with the current economy, and even though we are not technically in a recession (2 consecutive quarters of negative growth), the media has frightened me to the point that I am going to back to school. I have decided that law school is the answer to all my problems and at the very least I will be able to defend my rights (even as they are steadily eroded) in society. For this venture, I need a laptop. Should you ever decide that pain is pleasure and identify yourself as a masochist (Masochists enjoy receiving pain), go laptop shopping.

Lesson 1: the expert helping you is going to be much younger than you, and will be subtly (or not so subtly) insulting you in tech-talk.

Lesson 2: It does not matter how much the computer costs, or what rebates are available, you are going to spend at least $1,100 (and even at that point they make you feel that you are selling yourself short).

Lesson 3: No matter what you use your PC for, you can be sure the expert you are talking to believes you will want the most amount of memory possible. After all, once the expert accounts for his porn, gaming and music, he wants to make sure there is enough memory left to type a paper. He will use words like, "multi-tasking," "multiple applications," and "boogers" (or was it cookies?), but be sure, he is talking about P,G & M.

In short, it's a miserable experience that takes entirely too long. Anyone who tells you they did it for less/had fun/found a great deal/etc is a liar. They are the same type of people who tell you they "broke even" in Vegas. Seriously, the Bellagio should be handing out business cards that say, "Thanks for breaking even."

At least now I have a laptop that will handle every conceivable multimedia function, hijack and drive war planes, sit in for me when I miss class, change diapers and drive me & the wife home after a night out. And I got the 4 year warranty.

Does money matter?

We all saw what happened with Indymac, and the run on banks nationwide. Hopefully you have your money spread around and insured. Does that FDIC 100K limit make you feel better? Those that have received bank checks from the Indymac fiasco are still in trouble. The banks that deposit those checks (WaMu, BoA and I believe Wells Fargo) are putting up to a 2 month hold on those funds. So how safe is your money really? I am starting to believe those immigrants that bury the cash under their mattress may have it right. But then we have to worry about burglars (except in Texas) and the Euro working its way to $2. Maybe we should be investing in Euros, or buying gold bars, or at the very least ammo and canned goods. Why do I feel like it's Y2K all over again? Hey, at least we live in the greatest country on Earth, and let's face it, even if the economy goes to pot, we'll keep on keepin' on.

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a liberal? They seem to be personally offended by everything, and when you attempt to debate they just start cursing/crying and or yelling (I know this from personal experience). Why is that? I often want to ask these people, why are you so upset? Has life kicked you in the face? Such emotion... What happened to the days of spirited and intelligent debate? Now it just seems like a 2-year old throwing a temper tantrum.

I did have a positive experience with a liberal democrat (his words, not mine) during the Bush-Kerry experience. He calmly told me he was pro-abortion, and that was why he was voting for Kerry. I did not agree with him, but I respected his opinion and the way he stated it (without the tantrum). Unfortunately, that type of experience seems to be a rarity.

EOM.

How does this make you feel (click the link, it's 2 minutes long)?

http://www.iousathemovie.com/

How much Green does it cost to be green, and how many times can you type the word, "green" in a blog post title?

It's somewhere between 92 and 140 degrees outside today, and that completely supports the global warming theory in my book. I am no longer worried about the polar bears, as the ice caps must have completely melted in the last 2 days. I have noticed the a/c in my cars and house starting to pant and asking for union mandated breaks every few hours. Should that worry me? In my ever increasing efforts to be green, I decided to run some figures. So for all you numbers junkies out there:

Geothermal heating/cooling system - use the Earth's ground temperature to heat and cool your home. Decrease your cooling/heating costs dramatically (as well as your carbon footprint).
Cost for system and installation (no this is not something you can do yourself) $30,000 to $40,000 (varies with system size, horizontal or vertical layout and whether it's a new build scenario or replacing your consumption minded gas/electric/oil/coal furnace).

Windmill - Popular in California's high desert, and with government grants out there could almost become affordable. Cost, they start at $40,000 and go up from there (literally, the taller they are, the more expensive they become).

Solar - Who doesn't want solar panels on their roof? It's attractive and functional. But being in the Ohio Valley region, I am not one to count on the sun for any type of tan, much less energy. At any rate, these roof panels, start at $45,000.

Energy star rated windows, Tvkek house wrap, 2x6 framing, whole house attic fan and higher rated insulation (all beneficial), and you are looking at $6,000 to $12,000 per home.

All in all, if I can just find that $135,000 (give or take) I buried in my back yard, I can do my part to save the planet.

By the way, all you celebrities and former vice Presidents, you just keep flying around in your private planes and lecturing us common folk on how to do our part. I'll be on the Southwest red-eye (it's the only flight under 1.3 million dollars) between the fat guy and the anti showering hippie. Good times.

Jessie Jackson for Vice President!!!

Now wouldn't that be dream ticket? This guy must be intent on bringing down the Obama campaign. He is apologizing more often than a Barack-backing preacher. "Can't we all just get along?" Does he get crucified for using the "N" word? I say we Imus him. The scary thing here is he actually backs Barack. I mean if this guy is a supporter, what are we in for here? This is not the kind of change I am interested in.

On a somewhat related note, I have made a July resolution: I am swearing off both TV media and talk radio. One is so far left, and the other so far right (I don't believe clarification of which is which is needed), I just feel slapped around at the end of the day. I am going to wrap myself in bubble tape, read only the Internet and comic books, and spend the next 4 years in my underground bunker.

Is Ralph Nader running?

Attention Truckers!!!

Saw this and felt the need to share it...Awesome

TRUCKING IS THE ONLY WAY

To travel the U.S. while going broke.

To learn all the back roads around the scales.

To be in one place by the log book, but actually be in another place physically.

To run 12,000 miles per month for $1.00 per mile when it's $.90 per mile in operating costs.

To catch a dispatcher in a new lie each day.

On a positive note, oil dropped the most today it has in 17 years. Time to burn my hybrid.

Should Stay-At-Home Mothers Get Paid?

Here's a thought. Stay at home mothers should get a paycheck. What if the government paid these hard working women (and men for you stay at home dads) a small stipend for their hard work? $5,000 non-taxable dollars for each child up to the age of 18. You would have to apply for the program, and that could be done at the same time you fill out paperwork for your child's birth certificate. There would be required drug testing, and if you fail you are barred from the program for 12 months and can reapply at that time. I know that is a stricter policy than any sports program here, but it's for the kids. Should the program only apply to married women with children? What about wives who do not have children? I have not worked out the kinks yet, and let's face it, this would never make it to the President's desk. It is not very much money, but it could be enough to encourage more mothers to stay home and raise their children instead of sticking them in (disease infested, overworked and understaffed) child care centers. Wouldn't this promote a more cohesive family unit, and therefor better adjusted children? I believe it would, and who's going to turn down some extra cash to help with the bills and family vacations? Some would ask, "who's going to pay for this (taxpayers)," and some would say "that will only increase our national debt." Hey, at least this way you know where some of your tax money is going (and it just might make it back your wife), and with the amount of debt our government is racking up, don't make me feel guilty for wanting a piece of the pie. When I see the Pentagon and Congress working on a (limited) budget, that is when I will drink that kool aid.

Here SHE is, The USS New York (LPD 21), made from the World Trade Center !

It was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World Trade Center . It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft. Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003 , 'those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence,' recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. 'It was a spiritual moment for everybody there.' Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the 'hair on my neck stood up.' 'It had a big meaning to it for all of us,' he said. 'They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back.'

The ship's motto? 'Never Forget.'

Go America

Are we pimping black people?

Jason Whitlock (Fox Sports) says we are. Well, maybe not all of us but definitely the NCAA. This accusation was brought about by the departure of high school hoops star Brandon Jennings to Europe instead of going to the University of Arizona for one year. In either case, he should be in the NBA in 2 years. The situation is further fueled by the chance that another high school star from California, Demar DeRozan may follow Jennings' footsteps if he cannot qualify academically to get into USC. Here's a tip, Demar, pass the SATs!!! Don't you get points for just spelling your name right? I took the college entrance exams with a hangover and no sleep and I passed. So either I am a genius (not the case), or those tests are not that hard. I am going with the latter. At any rate, Whitlock goes on to knock college basketball and football for their role in "pimping black athletes." I think he even drags the NBA, NFL and CBS into the mix. Jason is usually pretty down to earth and unbiased in his writing, but this was little more than a rant of the man keeping the black players down. When will people understand that life is not fair, sports are not fair (no, not everyone on the team gets to play, that ended in T-ball), and the system is not prejudiced against any player. Rather, the system is constantly evolving in hopes that the sports at every level are enjoyable and somewhat consistent. Monetary compensation for college athletes is an argument that has been around since they stopped it. These kids are getting a free education, and a shot at the pros, when did that become not enough? When they couldn't pass their entrance exams? Paying them is not the answer, that rewards bad behavior. I for one see nothing wrong with these kids running overseas to start their professional careers a year early. That should give them some positive life experience, spending time in another country. Of course, if this becomes an epidemic the competition level in the college ranks may suffer (I doubt it), but at least the kids that are there will want to be there (taking advantage of the free ride that is currently being forced on the black kids).

How about Jesse Jackson and his comments on Barack? Good to see solidarity in the party.

To Horn or Not to Horn, That is the Question

So if you have not heard about Joe Horn, a quick recap:

2 Thieves broke into his neighbor's home. Joe heard it, called 911 and went to investigate (carrying a shotgun). The thieves tried to escape and in the process ran toward Joe and onto his property. He ended up shooting the two thieves. According to Texas law, this was a justified shooting. End of story? Of course not, the two thieves were not white, Joe Horn is, and therefore this has become a racially motivated killing with just a touch of illegal immigration thrown in for good measure. It turns out the dead thieves were career criminals (burglary ring, drug dealers, etc), in the U.S. illegally and were in the middle of a crime that according to Texas law permits the use of deadly force as a result. Thankfully, a grand jury cleared Joe Horn last month. It's nice to see some of the higher-ups still have some common sense. Of course, now that race has become a factor in the event, there are civil rights groups foaming at the mouth. Quanell X (wow, that is quite a name) has decided to follow in the footsteps of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton and is going to make a name (hopefully a better one) for himself standing up for the rights of Illegal immigrant cocaine dealer burglars. Now that's a cause worth fighting for. Good luck with that Mr. X (In the movies, here is where a sinister laugh would be inserted).

I know that stealing from someone is not supposed to be punishable by death, but it would seem that "3 hots and a cot" is not the deterrent it used to be. So let's make the punishments a bit harsher. Also, since Mr. Horn was within his rights according to the law, we should leave him alone. Whether your consider him a hero or a killer, you must agree that he is a law abiding citizen. Either protect him from extremist activists (like Quanell X), or change the law so you can't shoot people for stealing.

Your thoughts?

How Green is Too Green, and Why Isn't it Easier?

I read (can you really believe everything you read?) that environmentalists are encouraging families to limit their number of offspring to 2 children because it is better for the environment. The logic is, the more children you have, the larger your carbon footprint. Would the same logic suggest that at some point we should kill ourselves to minimize our overall carbon footprint? I mean, if you are dead, you are not consuming fossil fuels, you are not encroaching on the habitats of endangered species and you are not contributing to global warming. In fact, as you decompose you should actually be giving back to mother Earth!!! Perhaps that is a bit too green for me. Does that make me an energy hog?

Sometimes I wonder if it is too much trouble to try being green. We have to pay to have our local trash company recycle our trash (you know, the little red recycle boxes you can put out with your trash?), any hybrid vehicle is grossly overpriced, as is anything organic. In general, it is more easier to be Ungreen. Why is it easier to be harmful to the environment? You would think that our world leaders (not just the United States, so listen up China, India and Europe), would want to encourage more environmental responsible behavior. Not to mention global warming (which is of course, a joke born from the mind of weed-smoking tree sitters in Oregon and California). It should be easier.

One more thought: As the national average has topped the $4 mark, has anyone actually been to visit ANWR?

4th of July

Happy 4th of July!!! Sometimes I wonder if there are more Americans out there bashing our country than there are honoring it. I know I will be respecting the flag today instead of burning it. I read the other day that more and more Americans are formally renouncing their citizenship. Maybe it's for tax reasons, but in any case, I think that is sad. Perhaps there is a misconception that there is a perfect country out there? I have yet to hear of one, and one would think that we are all too smart to fall for the "grass is greener on the other side" idea. I for one, and happy and proud to be an American and I applaud those that feel the same. For those of you that do not share these same feelings, please remember to thank a soldier for fighting to give you that right of dissension.

3 random thoughts (or maybe not so random since it is the 4th of July):

1. Three out of the first four Presidents died on the 4th of July.

2. Born on the 4th of July is one of the worst and most depressing movies I have ever seen. Cruise should stick to jumping on Oprah's couch.

3. Rush, congratulations on an enormous contract... I think he makes more than ARod.

I'm out like a fat kid in kickball.

Death and Taxes - how to make the most out of dying???

If you are going to die, the year 2010 is the time to do it. That is the year when estate tax will fall to 0% (it was 45% as of May 30th, 2008). This stems from GW's first tax cut bill in 2001, and the plan was to slowly but eventually eliminate the "death tax" altogether. Great news, right? Well, only if you die in 2010. Should you live until 2011, 55% of your assets are going to Washington, and not to your beneficiaries. Congress has seen to it that the estate tax be reinstated in 2011 at the higher rate. This of course is creating chaos for those that are actually getting closer to St. Peter (writing of multiple wills, family members following them around with weapons, etc). For all you statisticians out there, this estate tax (including that taken on the wealthy) only accounts for 1% of all tax revenue. I say, get rid of the death tax once and for all (unless I go in 2010).

Guns at the airport

I am a fan of Georgia!!! That comment has nothing to do with the SEC, but rather with their current gun laws. There is a push for (as well as, against) more rights for legal gun owners. The argument is that gun owners with concealed carry licenses should be allowed to carry in restaurants and public transportation (read airport). The airports and anti-gun activists are obviously fighting this, and I am not surprised. Anti-gun activists have been trying to eliminate our Constitutional freedoms regarding firearms for some time now, and anyone who has flown in coach lately knows the airports hate us all and just want our money while they strip search us and destroy our luggage. Not to mention the $5 peanuts and seating made for oompa loompas. True Story, I once saw TSA giving a soldier (in his uniform) the full search, the wand, the pat down, everything. What a joke.

Back to the point: when will people realize that criminals don't care what gun laws are being passed? They are going to carry anyway. Look at what happened at Virginia Tech, and that was a "gun - free" zone by law. There are those that argue if we can just crack down on guns, then people will not be able to get them, and therefore if the criminals cannot get them, we will eliminate the problem. Just like drugs, right? We will just outlaw them and they will magically disappear. Brilliant!!!

How do you really know the economy is suffering?

I will tell you how you know. It's not the housing market, or the price of oil, or the rate of inflation, it's hookers. That's right, when business is suffering for those in the sex business, that's when you know the economy is suffering. Legal brothels in Las Vegas are down 40% this year. That is worse than the housing market in California (38%)!!! Apparently it can be traced back to oil. Due to higher gas prices, truckers have been unable to take advantage of the services offered by such establishments as the Shady Lady and the Bunny Ranch. According to interviews (not done by me), truckers were one of the top sources of revenue for these businesses. In order to lure business back (seriously, how hard can that be?), some of these brothels are offering $50 gas cards when a client spends $300 or more per month. This is starting to sound like an ad for a used car dealership.

On a related note, I wonder what the misery rating is currently. I believe it was highest under President Carter (Dem) with 20% interest rates, 12% unemployment and a high rate of inflation. Just something to ponder.

The last American business...

Have you ever thought about where your money goes? Shopping at Walmart sends it to China, buying a new car and that cash is probably on its way to Japan (I can't remember the last person to buy an American made car). What about produce, you ask? Most of that is coming from South and Central America. So where you can you go to make sure your money stays here?

The Yard Sale!!!!

That's right, it's the last American business and now is the season. Might I also mention I am hosting one of the yard sales (entrepreneur that I am) this weekend, and every weekend for the rest of the summer (or until my stuff runs out). So if you are looking for a deal (whether on a pair of French doors, or a faux life preserver), stop on by.

Have a good one.

Is it the Left?

Today I heard some thoughts from Ann C. on the Dennis Miller show. She passionately blames the left as a major contributor to the current oil prices. Her view is that Obama and his fellow Dems want high gas prices because it benefits their campaign. It makes the whole "change" message that much stronger. She also brought up the fact we cannot drill for our own oil, and that she also contributed to the policy of the left. So, I ask you. Is it the left?

On a positive note, good to see the 2nd Amendment upheld today. It means a great deal to me that the words of our founding fathers are being somewhat respected.

Moving...

If you don't have a soul, this may not effect you. http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/706270

It puts things in perspective.

Gas is Cheaper in Mexico

Today I read an article regarding gas prices (I know, no one really cares), and there are many Americans living in border states that are taking advantage of our neighbors to the South. That's right, gas is approx. $2.50 per gallon (2.19 for diesel) in Mexico. I would probably consider moving to Mexico, after all I like the beach, chimichangas and margaritas and now cheap(er) gas for my ride? Jorge!! Yo Soy Tu Papa!!! Unfortunately I cannot afford enough gas to get there from here. Time to get out the old Schwinn and head for the border. OR (wait for it) we could start supporting Rep. Randy Forbes!!! This Virginian is calling for a higher rating for auto efficiency, more involvement with nuclear, solar and bio fuel power, and putting together a massive cash award for whoever comes up with the best mainstream alternative to oil. If only I were smart, but let's face it, I blew up more equipment in the lab than a chemistry major should have. So it's up to you, genius-make-a-car-that-runs-on-beer-guy. Two more random thoughts: My back is feeling better today, thank you for asking, and 92% of Americans surveyed about religion believe in God, but the majority of them also believe there is an alternative to their faith as a means of getting to heaven. Such clarity.

No insight (ok, maybe just a few words), Just complaining...

Alright, my back is killing me today. I am not sure why, I really don't do anything. Maybe it's because I followed some advice and increased my fiber intake? Here's a lesson: mothers, don't let your children play sports!!! They end up with broken bodies and stories about "how almost great they were" that no one wants to hear. Have your children focus on academics, they will have a better shot at college scholarships and more earning potential once they hit the job market. Now, the exceptions: if your child is in junior high school, is 6'6" tall, runs a 4.2 40, or throws 90+, get video, make a highlight film and send to the Division I NCAA college coach of your choice. Otherwise, have them focus on the grades (and if you are really shooting for the Ivy Leagues, add community service and internships to that list). Their body will thank you for it, they will be more free to enjoy their college experience (let's face it, nothing kills a drinking game more than, "I have to go, I have a game in the morning."), and perhaps they will end up owning a team instead of wishing they still had the skills that "almost got them there." That way, you can at least still get tickets. That's it, my back is acting up again. I have half a mind (don't comment on that) to contact Rush for some Oxy.

Domestic Spying - That can't be a good sign

Attention everyone!!! We have bipartisan agreement in Congress!!! Our representatives have agreed to ensure our safety by strengthening our domestic spying program. Our government can now "in certain circumstances" eavesdrop on our conversations WITHOUT a warrant. My understanding of certain circumstances is if someone is involved in an overseas call with "suspicious" person. In essence, spy now and ask later (I am pretty sure some of my college buddies would consider that dating). Also this new agreement will also protect the companies that are involved (AT&T and Verizon) from lawsuits. Does that mean my wireless bill will go down? I figure all of those surcharges/surtaxes/whoknowswhattheyarechargingmefor were to pay for defense lawyers. I understand the position many people take: "if you are not breaking the law, you don't have to worry" and "this is to protect us", but is this too much government? Where does this cross that gray area (I believe there use to be an actual line one could cross) of personal privacy? And who is paying for this? Is it the taxpayers? If so, that is the equivalent of suing yourself, expensive and you always lose.

Markets are UP!!! Get a job.

I don't know where you are, but things are looking up in Central Ohio. Home prices are up $3,000 from this time last year, and there are fewer homes on the market than there were at this time last year. Of course if you watch the news, the housing market is completely dead and we should all go back to living in tepees. By the way, I was speaking with a former news reporter yesterday. He enlightened me with the information that fewer and fewer people are actually watching the news on TV. I can understand that, it's too depressing to watch. He also mentioned that in his broadcasting/communication classes, that the "weather is what sells the news." So now you know, that's how they suck us in, with the weather. I know I feel better. Back to my earlier point, things are looking up. The International Monetary Fund (IMF) revised its prediction for our national economy, from .5% to 1.1% for 2008 and from .6% to .8% (change in gross domestic product) for 2009. That's what I like to hear.

Are you a college graduate looking for a job? Now is a good time. According to CollegeGrad.com, hiring of college grads is up. 500 of the top entry-level (yes, even you have to start at the bottom) employers are reporting the need for 175,000 new employees (of which more than 10,000 openings are for 23 companies in Ohio). 62% of the surveyed companies are projecting to hire more grads than they did last year (20% - the same amount and 18% - fewer than 2007).

So go get a job and stop leaching off your parents.

Cigars, Music and the Open Road

The weather today was beautiful, so I decided to take a drive out into the country (or maybe it was just Newark). I had my super trendy iPod connected to my car speakers, the windows down and a fantastic Honduran cigar. For a moment I felt like Tony Soprano. However reality struck once I had accidentally inhaled the cigar smoke. By the time I got out of the car I was light-headed, seeing bright flashes of light (what was in that cigar) and stumbling around like a giraffe on a trampoline. Clearly I am no Soprano. In fact, I may not even be a real Italian (I have this adverse reaction to olive oil). Obviously I am not a seasoned cigar smoker. O yeah, and my iPod died while I was out so the whole music thing didn't really work out. I hate nice days.

Exercise, Getting Fatter, How Did This Happen?

It is now clear that my body hates me. I used to be an athlete, now I get winded just thinking about sports. I am able to watch a complete NBA game (with a little HGH and Red Bull), and that is something to be proud of. I have started exercising 20 times in the past 5 years. Maybe I am struggling with commitment (No, it would have to be sweating that I struggle with). I play basketball once per week in a "lightly-competitive" league, and it takes the remaining 6 days of the week for my bones to knit and my muscles to start responding (just in time for the next round of hoops). How does this happen? Here is another interesting development: No matter how many times I start exercising, my weight only goes up. I keep telling myself that "muscle weighs more than fat," and when I said it out loud the other day, the scale started laughing at me. The afore mentioned scale is now in pieces in my driveway. Who's laughing now?

Can you believe what you read?

Is the sky falling? Or am I just burying my head in the sand? I believe I am a glass-half-full type of person, but I am having a harder and harder time discerning the current state of affairs. The evening news is filled with crime, horror and is altogether depressing (at least I get updates on the weather every 4-6 minutes). So according to the "devil-box" in my living room, the end or the world is here. Contrary to that information is that of the Wall Street Journal. I recently perused an article with the title, "Life Is Good, So Why Do We Feel So Bad?" by Gregg Easterbrook. To summarize:

• Unemployment is low (5.5%).
• Income is rising ahead of inflation.
• Even with the current media-induced housing market, the average home is still worth 30% more than it was in 2000.
• Only 6% of Americans actually have "threatened" mortgages, and the majority of those will keep their homes.
• Inflation is getting a great deal of press for being on the rise, however the 16 years prior to 2008 were almost inflation-free!

I could go on, but you get the point. The real question is where do we go from here?

President/Congress/High End Cocktail

President Bush, how will he be remembered? Does it really matter? I enjoy the political banter as much as the next guy, but even I fear for our country's future. When will our candidates start discussing their policies instead of constantly condemning the current President? I consider myself somewhat normal, and here are the issues that matter to me (in no particular order):

• Economy


• Health Care


• War in Iraq/Security


• Gas Prices


• Big Government


• Taxes

There is so much white noise out there, neither McCain nor Obama seem to be solidifying a position on any of these. I keep hearing "change and hope" from both parties, and let's face it; my faith in our government leaders is wavering. For as much criticism as G.W. receives, his approval rating is more than twice that of Congress (which is controlled by which party?), 28% and 13% respectively. 13%!!! How many of us would keep our jobs with that? I would probably end up sleeping on a park bench under a newspaper. Is there a way we can fire them all and start over? I thought they worked for us...

http://www.pollingreport.com/BushJob.htm

http://www.pollingreport.com/CongJob.htm

After that, I do need a drink. Here is a high end cocktail to break out with your smoking jacket or tuxedo:

Twentieth Century

• 1 1/4 oz Gin


• 3/4 oz Lillet Blanc


• 3/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice


• 1/2 oz Cre'me de Cacao (clear)

Shake with ice & strain into a stemmed cocktail glass. Lemon Twist.

"Opportunity of a Lifetime"

I just sat through an opportunity of a lifetime "Internet marketing" seminar (read "scheme"). Every time I experience one of these, I am inspired to start my own "multi-level marketing system." I believe the blueprint for success is to invite "VIPs" (senior citizens, bored people, the unemployed, and those like myself with overzealous assistants), offer a free lunch at a local hotel, fill 90 minutes with a basic power point presentation and hundreds of cliches, and just watch the money roll in. It should appeal to anyone interested in get-rich-quick schemes. My favorite parts of the presentations:

• They say my name as many times as they can work it into the presentation.
• They "build value" with 3rd party endorsements and anecdotes.
• They tell me how much better their system is than actually working for a whole day as a doctor or lawyer (those poor suckers who actually have to work).

I often find myself looking for the flaws in the obviously memorized presentation (narcissistic micro manager that I am). This particular presenter said "No Worries" almost 500 times. There's nothing like a middle-age man with a Georgian accent using a phrase better suited for college students and the residents "down under." At one point I actually heard the phrases "don't put all your eggs in one basket," and "awesome."

To make the afternoon even better, the lady next to me kept attempting to interest me in her product, some sort of super food/oxidizer/healer of all illnesses concoction. Hey at least I got a free lunch, and a daily organizer as my parting gift. No worries.